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The South Shall Rise Again - Online
By Ed Rampell

Forty years ago, Gone Are the Days - a witty movie spoofing Gone With the Wind and the civil rights movement - was released, starring Ossie Davis, Ruby Dee, Alan Alda, and Godfrey Cambridge.

Set in the South during the '60s, the comedic Cambridge plays a ne'er-do-well, and one of the characters tells the good-for-nothing: "If slavery comes back, I want to be your agent."

Of course, this was about three decades before the World Wide Web went into widespread public use. When the Internet premiered, the new medium engendered an optimistic utopianism and, some believed it would usher in a new millennium. Linking human beings around the four corners of our shrinking globe, the 'Net would be a cure-all for mankind's woes. An 'Information Super Highway' offered a cornucopia of knowledge and data at one's fingertips. With the click of a mouse, e-commerce would transcend borders and bring about prosperity through the computerization of the free market.

Thanks to e-business, one enterprising (former) fulltime freelance writer has become his own agent, and sold himself and his family into - if not exactly slavery, a form of indentured servitude. That's right, early this year, Steve Young, a resident of Chatsworth (located in e-adult's ground zero, the San Fernando Valley), auctioned himself, his wife Diana, daughter Kelly, and son Casey off on e-Bay.

In a telephone interview with Klixxx, Young said, "We sold ourselves and are now living for another family. We changed our names to Lipshitz, and do anything the other family wants us to do that's legal. We do their holiday cards, frequently have them over for dinner, or we eat at their [plantation?] mansion [aka "the Big House"?]. I write for them," and so on, a nonchalant Young - uh - Lipshitz divulged. The other family - who shall remain nameless - often stay over at Chatsworth, where Steve added wings onto his home to accommodate his benefactors/masters (like Fox News, we report, you decide) as their vacation home or dasha.

Steve revealed the transaction that may have earned him wealth, but lost him freedom, was "not less than $5 million" (in Yankee - not Confederate - dollars). While the e-sale was initiated on e-Bay (because it's "the best," Steve insisted), the deal was not consummated through the online auction site, and e-Bay did not receive its usual commission for the transaction.

The bid was brought to e-Bay's attention when a reporter called the online marketplace seeking a comment. "What often happens in a situation like this, a seller will call a local reporter, and attempt to generate some coverage on the listing," said Kevin Pursglove, Senior Director of Communications for San Jose-based e-bay (www.ebay.com). Indeed, the L.A. Times did a story about the - uh - slave auction, although Pursglove added, "the e-Bay community and members of our customer support team bring questionable items to our attention."

"We don't know much about this," Pursglove said about the Young brouhaha. "It's just one of the many millions of listings that appear on e-Bay on any given day. It was brought to our attention - our customer service team looked it over, and determined to de-list it… The listing clearly inferred individuals were for sale - and we don't allow that on e-Bay. It's against the law," chuckled the latter day e-Bay Abolitionist.

Pursglove stated, "As a general rule, if an individual can't sell an item through a local retailer or merchandiser or through a mail order catalogue, it can't be sold on e-Bay. Beyond that, e-Bay has actually created a list of items and areas which are prohibited on e-Bay, such as firearms… stocks, bonds, or any other form of securities, eyeglasses or prescriptions. Limitations on used clothing… Fireworks… Items associated with the official duties of law enforcement officials… We oftentimes work with the appropriate [government] oversight or regulatory agency, for example, with the Department of Fish and Game [regarding] items that might appear on the endangered species list," Pursglove said.

Was a credit card processor like PayPal in touch with e-Bay about an attempted transaction to bid on the Youngs? "I don't think so, because the item was removed," Pursglove conjectured.

"We've seen some pranks over the years," Pursglove added. "An individual, who had a rather descriptive listing of his desire to lose his virginity, and wanting to sell it to the highest bidder… I've never heard of a prostitute seeking to sell sexual services, but you know, when you've got 12 million items a day, it's possible listings like that have popped up. Although it would be removed, as soon as it did pop up… Another individual, who wanted to sell his individual spirit, another who wanted to sell his soul." In fact, Steve dryly noted, "Since I'd already sold my soul writing for Hollywood," it only made sense to add his corporeal self, plus his familys', to the Faustian bargain.

In addition to the possible motive of getting free publicity, the trials and tribulations of being a freelance writer motivated Young/Lipshitz to seek economic security for his family. Steve is an over-40 TV writer who previously wrote for The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, and sitcoms, such as Cybil.

Freelance writers are an oppressed minority, with little if any job security and no benefits. According to the National Writers Guild, "In real dollars, freelance rates have declined by more than 50 percent since the 1960s… Publishers are asking for and getting more secondary rights for the same dollar that once bought only one-time rights. Writers who used to compensate for the poor pay rates at newspapers, by reselling articles to multiple markets, can no longer do so… Freelance writers spend a tremendous amount of time looking for work (researching and pitching articles) and revising…" One of the most popular functions of this union for freelancers is its grievance committee, which seeks to redress abusive treatment of writers, such as nonpayment for services rendered.

No wonder Steve concocted a hi-tech scheme to enrich his family, and no longer refers to himself as a fulltime freelance writer, since he has another career, as a kind of well-paid slave, whose job description requires some writing. So how is the arrangement working out? Lipshitz/Young reported there's been no uncivil wars yet, and said: "So far, so good… They're really friendly… The only negative is that now I'm in a higher tax bracket." In our Brave New World, even field hands and house slaves have to pay taxes - and you ain't just whistling Dixie.

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